Bryant and Huixin share some thoughts on fellowship. In this insightful post, they give us a glimpse into a vision of fellowship that is nothing short of B-E-A-utiful! This is the first post in our series ‘Community and Fellowship’.
If you have been a Christian for some time now, you must have heard the term ‘fellowship’ being used across various situations – oftentimes within the setting of the church or in your bible study groups. Our understanding of fellowship may thus be anything that induces a ‘warm’ or ‘comfortable’ interaction with another person, be it through shared interests or being able to ‘hit it off’ as friends. Broadly, it could just be a social gathering of people who are Christians and do things like read and study the bible together. However, despite faithfully attending BASIC or church, or hanging out with friends there… do you still feel like something is amiss? That if you are in fellowship with one another, then these relationships should feel deeper and more
satisfying?
What is Fellowship?
For an understanding of fellowship as God intended, we can look to the Book of Acts where we catch a glimpse of what ‘church life’ was like for the early Christians:
“42 And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. 43 And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. 44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46 And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved” (Acts 2:42-47).
The author, Jerry Bridges, commented on Acts 2:
“Those first Christians in Acts 2 were not devoting themselves to social activities but to a relationship – a relationship that consisted of sharing together the very life of God through the indwelling of the Spirit. They understood that they had entered this relationship by faith in Jesus Christ, not by joining an organization. And they realized that their fellowship with God logically brought them into fellowship with one another. Through their union with Christ they were formed into a spiritually organized community… We must grasp the idea that fellowship means belonging to one another in the Body of Christ, along with all the privileges and responsibilities that such a relationship entails” (Jerry Bridges, True Community).
The activities of the early Christians encompassed a participation in life together. As they shared in the blessings of the work of Christ, so did they share all they had. Their fellowship (or relationships) was not just a weekly social affair, but a daily familial one, being present for the joys, sorrows, and humdrum of everyday life. By relating to one another in a way that God had ordained, they enjoyed a much deeper form of relationship which we can call fellowship – an experience unique to those who are in Him. More importantly, these early Christians recognized that it was through Christ that they could be restored in their relationship with God, hence belonging to one another as one body (1 John 1:5-7). When we have a relationship with God rooted in the truth of His Word, we enter into fellowship with Him. Likewise, when we have a relationship with other Christians and relate to them by God’s standards, we enter into fellowship with them. Thus, activities such as hanging out together or talking about the newest game or show may improve our relationships with one another and encourage fellowship, but are not in themselves ‘fellowship’. In essence, fellowship with others occurs when we mutually take part in the struggling, growing, obeying, and enjoying of God in each other’s lives.
We must grasp the idea that fellowship means belonging to one another in the Body of Christ, along with all the privileges and responsibilities that such a relationship entails.
Jerry Bridges
How then do we come to enjoy “fellowship”?
We enjoy fellowship with others as part of our fellowship with God in obeying Him. In this, God teaches us how we should relate to one another – to love, to serve, to bear, forgive, encourage, build up and pray for one another (This is not an exhaustive list! c.f. Romans 12:9-21; Galatians 5:22-23; Colossians 3:12-17 etc.). However, we often follow these instructions for only as long as the situation is convenient for us. When we realize that loving requires more of us than we are willing to give, most of us find ourselves wanting to run away. Let us reflect on this with the following questions: how do we share and pray for one another? Do we consciously put in effort to understand each other’s struggles or show care for one another through the week? Or is it just another thing we do when bible study ends every Saturday?
Here are 3 barriers to consider that may be preventing us from enjoying fellowship:
The absence of vulnerability. Part of our relationship with God is recognizing we are completely vulnerable before Him – He knows our innermost thoughts and the secrets of our hearts, things we wish to hide and conceal from everybody, sometimes even ourselves. Yet, He still loves us. That is the model to which we strive for in our relationship with other Christians too, that we may lay ourselves bare and still find genuine love and care waiting for us. Understandably, many of us may have been hurt in friendships and relationships, and closing ourselves up to the world is how we have learned to cope and deal with the world. Consequently, we fear having to deal with vulnerability, whether they belong to ourselves or to others. Nonetheless, God calls us to be a family – His family – to care for one another even in our deepest hurts and vulnerabilities. God gave us His church to be there for each other, and in spite of our struggles and fears, we try (Gal 2:20).
The depth of our love. Loving one another entails caring for others at the expense of our convenience, such as choosing to spend time with people instead of our own preferences like playing games or crash landing on a Netflix series (Geddit?).
Accepting and giving words of love. We must recognize too that love does not always entail us feeling comfortable and fuzzy, but that it can feel confrontational. This goes hand in hand with being vulnerable, in discussing difficult truths and issues in our lives which we may sometimes be blind to. Undoubtedly, these conversations must be filled with prayer, accompanied by wisdom, rooted in God’s Word and love for the other, so that our good intentions may not be marred by misunderstanding or bad execution in our speech. When we are quick to listen and slow to speak, we can then exercise care in the words we choose to deliver to our brother or sister in Christ. We will also then be able to put on humility and patience when we are receiving such words, especially when we feel misunderstood, thus building one another up as one body in Him (Col 3:16, James 1:16). Regardless, people warm up at different rates. Some are much slower, and those who are eager to speak must withhold themselves, unconditionally assuring the other person of their love and presence.
we are a part of God’s family – to love and be loved, to care and be cared for, to pray and to be prayed for.
The three things above are definitely easy to talk about, grasp intellectually, and possibly reflect upon. However, they are by no means easy to live out. As human beings living in a fallen world, we will always struggle to obey God’s Word, to conform to His Will and will burnout if we try to do so with our own strength. No one is an exception, not our parents, bible study leaders, and even pastors. Such is the human experience, where we need to find time for ourselves to rest and recharge in Him too. Thankfully, we can always look to Jesus, for strength and for comfort in the sure hope and knowledge that there will come a time when these struggles will be no more.
In the meantime, while we are here on earth, we must remember that though we still struggle with sin, we are a part of God’s family – to love and be loved, to care and be cared for, to pray and to be prayed for. May we lean on God for His Grace to give us courage and strength to relate to one another in His Way, and perhaps then our fear of things like the lack of reciprocity or the flaws of the community may give way to the experience of fellowship with one another. If you are struggling in this regard, do talk to someone you trust who may be able to walk with you through this struggle.
Suggested Articles:
- Fellowship Discovered by John Loftness
- The Folly of ‘Looking for Community’ by Eugene Park https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/the-folly-of-looking-for-community/
Suggested Books:
- “Caring for One Another” – Edward T. Welch
- “Real: The Surprising Secret to Deeper Relationships” – Catherine Parks
- “Spiritual Friendship” – Wesley Hill
- “Uncomfortable” – Brett McCracken
“We tend to think of fellowship as drinking coffee and eating cookies with other people from church. But the word actually means sharing or communing with each other: sharing each other’s joys, bearing each other’s burdens, and being involved in each other’s lives.” (Joel Beeke)
Author: Bryant Choo and Huang Huixin
Bryant is currently a student at NTU studying psychology. He enjoys playing the guitar, lifting weights, reading and is always trying to snack less.
Huixin is a fourth year medical student at NUS. She enjoys running, interval and circuit training, creating art, reading with a good cuppa, and soaking in nature on hikes.
Photo Credits: Social Media Team E